From Goodbye to Growth

Jan 1

Part I

On Friday September the 13th, I submitted a simple sentence to resign from over 18 years of work for the government, but more than that - it represented my life’s work. At the time, I felt like I was losing everything and I couldn’t imagine how I would ever recover. I was devastated. Some people don’t want me to share the moments of devastation and disappointment, they worry about the satisfaction my haters will get in my pain. But I am focused on the people like me, the people who can’t see a way out of a hard, challenging and difficult situation. I want the hopeless to know - you can make it! It does get better, just hold on.

As I reflect on my resignation, I gained more than I lost. In the beginning I spent a lot of time thinking about what I still had access to and who was calling and checking on me. I slowly came to consider the saying, if you lost it, you never really had it. Too many people looked at the work I did as if it were something new or as if my successes were tied to my title or position. I brought my full self to my work, from my time as a kindergarten teacher, to legislative aid, to nonprofit director to department head - I always found a way to center community, no one can take that away from me. I am relevant because I work with and for the community. “Friends” who stopped calling, lost my number or spoke ill of me - were never my friends. Anyone who knows me and cares for me, would speak up on my behalf; my real friends have no doubt that everything I do in my work life is community-driven; and true friends love me unconditionally, regardless of what they hear people say or what they read in the paper, they would never stop looking out for me. I was undoubtedly disappointed in the people I worked with, the people I supported and the ones who benefitted from the work and stayed silent, the ones who turned their backs on me and contributed to the false narratives, but I appreciate that, and now I see you and I know who you are - thank you for being who you are!

The public resignation and all that led up to it helped me prepare for the new year; to outline my priorities; to spend some time resting and growing; and to pack my bag for the new year. It isn’t so much a goodbye as it is an opportunity to grow and move into the next chapter of life. This process has allowed me to identify what I need for the next leg of my journey, to understand what sustained me and remember what is fundamental for me.

Lessons Learned

I am more than a title or a position
Faith will keep you in difficult times
Take time to pray, meditate and/or do breathing exercises
Look for clarity in the moment, it’s a time to see who and what to invest in
Support Network - make sure you are connected to a group of people who genuinely care for you
Develop a self-care and mental health routine
Take action - set goals and plan for what’s next, do something everyday that moves you closer to your goals
Have a determination to keep going - don’t give up